Jokes - Page 195

Jan · 02-05-11, 14:34

Whilst celebrating Arsenals victory yesterday it was a bit unwise of Bin Laden to run out and shout ''come on you gunners''

Ross-en-Dale · 02-05-11, 18:51

R.I.P Osama bin Laden world hide and seek champion for ten years in a row (2001 - 2011)

bet Bin Laden now regrets filling in that census form.

jacquiD · 02-05-11, 19:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ross-en-Dale

R.I.P Osama bin Laden world hide and seek champion for ten years in a row (2001 - 2011)

bet Bin Laden now regrets filling in that census form now

Ross-en-Dale · 04-05-11, 14:56

Until a child tells you what they are thinking, we can't evenbegin to imagine how their mind is working.... Little Zachary was doing very badly in maths. His parents had tried everything...tutors, mentors,flash cards, special learning centres.In short, everything they could think of to help his maths.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down andenrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very seriouslook on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead,he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and littleZachary was hard at work.

His mother was amazed. She called himdown to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his roomwithout a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books ashard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother triedto understand what made all the difference.. Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card.. He quietlylaid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books.

Withgreat trepidation, his Mum looked at it and to her great surprise,Little Zachary got an 'A' in maths. She could no longer hold hercuriosity..She went to his room and said, 'Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?'Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no.. 'Well, then,' she replied, 'was it the books, the discipline, thestructure, the uniforms?

WHAT WAS IT?' Little Zachary looked at her and said, 'Well, on the first day ofschool when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew theyweren't fooling around.'

whistler · 04-05-11, 15:32

Bin Laden's last Facebook statement "Brb, someone at the door"

Matty · 04-05-11, 16:50

Bin Laden has now given up his title as the no1 hide n seek champion.
His title has now passed to Madeline Mcann ....

whistler · 04-05-11, 18:22

Snow White, Tom Thunb and Quasimodo go for a day out at the fun fair. Whilst looking around and enjoying the rides and such, Tom Thumb walks into the hall of mirrors and manages to find a magic one.
"Mirror mirror on the wall" says Tom "Who is the smallest of them all?" he asks and the mirror answers "Why Tom, you are by far the smallest person in all the world"
Tom exits the hall of mirrors, his little hands punching the air in quiet triumph. Minutes later he tells Snow White to find the same mirror and see what her result would be.
Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?" she asked and the mirror answered her "Why! Snow White you are the most beautiful girl in all the world with no doubt"
Snow White came away ecstatic and as she left the hall and told Quasi all about it and suggested that he go take a look himself.
Quasi eventually found the magic mirror and asked the question!
"Mirror mirror on the wall who's the ugliest of them all?"
5 minutes later Quasi comes out of the hall of mirrors, his hand in his pockets, looking really glum and down in the dumps and Snow White seeing him looking dejected asks "Wow Quasi, whats wrong with you"
and Quasi answers............
"Who the F**k is Gordon Brown?"

Rexmaniac · 04-05-11, 18:31

I can't believe they killed Osama Bin Laden.......but I guess Jihad it coming.

Jan · 04-05-11, 22:06

Starbucks have announced they are introducing a new Coffee.Its called Osama Bin Latte -dark bodied with a white frothy head & two shots in it!

Jan · 04-05-11, 22:08

10 years.Trillions of dollars.Thousands of soldiers dead.State of the art technology.
After all that the US finally found Bin Laden in his house!

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