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Old 08-03-16, 22:37   #2431
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Re: Jokes

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Pasted from another site hope you like it.
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Old 09-03-16, 09:35   #2432
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So funny but so very very true
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Old 04-05-16, 18:02   #2433
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Paddy was drving down the rd at night a wee bit high when he served to avoid a tree, then another tree, then another. A following police car stopped him and Paddy explained he was swerving to avoid trees. You idiot the policeman said thats your air freshner.
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Old 05-05-16, 20:01   #2434
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I've given up eating clowns, they taste funny.
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Old 05-05-16, 20:05   #2435
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Re: Jokes

I got a job as a litter removal man, didn’t have any training.

Just thought I'd pick it up as I go along!
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Old 06-05-16, 12:18   #2436
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Paddy and his wife were in bed when they were awakened by next doors dog barking. Paddy got out of bed to sort it out. He returned a few minutes later and said to his wife,"I've put the dog in our garden see how they like it.
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Old 09-05-16, 17:47   #2437
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young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Old 17-05-16, 22:37   #2438
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A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security,




stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two

blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind[such a crime and then make such an
obvious error, he replied,
'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole
the paintings.
I had no Monet
To buy Degas
To make the Van Gogh.'
See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else...
I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.
MAY YOUR DAY BE FILLED WITH SUNSHINE,
SMILES & LAUGHTER!
No extra charge and you don't have to thank me...


Last edited by Retlaw : 17-05-16 at 22:47.
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Old 18-05-16, 10:22   #2439
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Brilliant,loved that.
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Old 23-05-16, 16:26   #2440
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A bloke walks into a bar with an alligator.
He walks up to the bar and says "I would like a beer thanks."
The Bar man says "Sorry mate you can't have that alligator in here."
The man says "No it's tame I can prove it to you."
So the man throws an ashtray at it's head, and the alligator just shrugs it off.
The bar man says "No I'm still not convinced."
So the guy puts his dick in the alligators mouth and throws an ashtray at his head and the alligator still does nothing.
The bar man looks real impressed so the man says "Would anyone else like a go ?"
An old lady in the back corner says "Yeah I would, but could you please not throw an ashtray at my head."
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